Finding Purpose

   The time is coming once again to send another "child" off into the world.  For those of you that don't know, I'm a Puppy Walker for the Guide Dog Foundation for the Blind Inc.   My "children" may have 4 legs and fur, but they are no less a part of my soul.
   I only have but a single short year to teach them how to be an asset to their community.  I know that they will do great things with their short lives, but unlike many of your children, they will not come home for the holidays or call just to check in every once in a while.  As I say goodbye and shut the door to the transport, I will never pet their precious heads again.  It truly is goodbye that I am never ready for.
   It is in these last months before her return that I realize how much a part of my life Pansie is.  Because of her, I am never alone.  I will never go a second feeling unloved.  I am utterly needed, and it makes me sad to think that her blind person will never get to see her excited expression at the word "hungry" "ice" or "toy".
   She never surprises me at her level of excitement when greeting people.  Even when it's someone I don't particularly like, she can still only barely contain herself. 
   Even now, although all her toys are in the living room and she could play and run if she wanted, she sits at my feet while I type just to be close to me.  She will never be too embarrassed or angry to be around me.  I am her world.  And she is mine. 
   This job is very rewarding! Knowing that they will have such an amazingly wonderful impact on some one's life one day.  But until I get the placement e-mail, all I can think about is how much I miss them.  I could not imagine going to class or even the store without Pansie, but soon I will just be another face in the crowd.  A normal shopper.  Which has it's perks, don't get me wrong, but it will be a hard transition to make again.
   So I'll sit on the floor instead of the couch for just one more month so she can be close to me and I to her.  It breaks my heart that she doesn't even know it's coming.  That one day I will just disappear and leave her without any explanation.
   I love you Lucky and Pansie, and I will never ever forget you.